The Word Weaver
Inviting you to know & embrace Jesus Christ
Deb Weaver
"The Superpower I Seek"
by The Word Weaver, Deb on March 15th, 2012

Have you ever wished for a superpower?  I have!  First and foremost, I want the ability to fly!  (I plan to parasail one of these days just to feel the exhilarating sensation.)  And years ago, I longed for another gift.
As a child, I was incredibly shy and quiet.  We moved from Kentucky to Michigan when I was in the middle of my kindergarten year.  Each day I raced home and barely made it to the bathroom.  Finally my Mom figured out the problem.  I was too afraid to ask the new teacher where the bathroom was located.  My second grade teacher warned my parents, "Your daughter will be severely inhibited in life because she's so painfully shy."  In third grade, the teacher confided to my Mom (who was also the room mother), "I often forget she's here."  You get the picture.

Fast forward several years to the crucible called middle school...  (Actually, in my day it was called junior high, but that obviously dates me, so let's keep that little detail to ourselves, okay?)

Invisibility was my daily, desperate superpower wish.  I pictured being able to glide to class and to the bathroom without anyone noticing me.  With such a gift, life would have been perfect.  (But then again, this was adolescence so maybe perfection was an unrealistic hope.  *Grin.)  

Alas, my wish was never granted.  I trudged through the crowded hallways in excruciating self-consciousness.  

Ah, it's just as well.  Such a superpower would have been wasted on me anyway.  Personal comfort should not fuel superpowers.  

Instead of invisibility, I learned to disappear behind masks.  Depending on the setting, I displayed a variety of facades to the public.  The masks I wore covered my lack of confidence, my inexperience, my impatience, and a host of other deficiencies.  

These masks were carefully chosen images leading others to believe I was a perfect student, experienced teacher, or good mom.  They were crafted to demonstrate that I was organized, patient, compassionate, kind, and confident.

In truth, I am none of those things consistently.  
Good gravy!  I'm a horrible housekeeper, the Princess of Procrastination, terribly timid, and fearful. Oh yeah, let's not forget controlling.

My kids wear the emotional scars of my once fiery temper.  I still yell far more than I'd like.  Some days I nickname myself "SpongeDeb Crankypants."  It might sound cute, but it's not something you'd want to watch!  

And that's just the stuff I can tell you till we're better acquainted!  (*Wink!)

And in reality, those good parts that you may now see have really only come about through Jesus.  He has changed my life.  He's gently peeled back the masks one by one, some worn so long they seemed my second skin.  His Word and His Spirit have taken an immature, judgmental, angry woman and slowly--over years--calmed her volcanic temper and given her a heart that loves others deeply.  He's got LOTS yet to do, but I know that He loves me and that He will complete the good work that He's started.  

You see, the more I get to know and love Jesus, the more I want others to see through me to Him...even if your view through me is cracked, smudged, or sometimes foggy.  He's the One worthy of notice and admiration.  So instead of the power of invisibility, I offer transparency.  It's the newest superpower.  

Photos taken at 2010 Hero Headquarters V.B.S.--God is my hero!

It's my belief that the shedding of masks enables us to connect with others.  Transparency offers others the gift of being real, that "I'm not the only one!" realization, encouragement, and hope.  

It's the gift--superpower, if you wish--that I've been given, and it's the gift I extend to others.

So, here at the beginning of this blog relationship, you need to know this:  I don't have it all together.  Heck, I can't even find half the pieces!  And a few of the ones I may be able to locate are probably glued to the kitchen floor with something sticky!  

I'm finding my way just like you.  I hope that by being transparent and honest about the way things really are, you will be encouraged as we journey life together.

##
Copyright 2012 The Word Weaver, Deb Weaver 


Posted in A Work in Progress, Courage Required, My Journey with God    Tagged with Superpowers, Transparency


6 Comments

Alia Joy - March 18th, 2012 at 12:42 AM
Loved this post Deb. I can relate to your journey in so many ways. I love how you say transparency is the new superpower. I couldn't agree more. I have found that the more transparent I am, the more I can relate and connect to other people and be used by God to show His glory. Good stuff. I really enjoyed it. :)
The Word Weaver, Deb - March 18th, 2012 at 12:01 PM
Thank you! Transparency opens the door to the light and to heart connections, that's for sure!
Michele B - March 20th, 2012 at 8:05 AM
Aw yes, transparency, a trait I so appreciate. Transparency makes you "real". I like real people! Thanks for sharing you thoughts. We all have a story thanks for sharing yours.


The Word Weaver, Deb - March 20th, 2012 at 8:18 AM
Thanks, Michele! Transparency can help us connect. I appreciate you reading the blog!
Mary Anne - March 20th, 2012 at 11:00 AM
Beautiful, amazing and honest post Deb. It really resonated with me (again). I was reading some of my report cards from elementary school the other day....every one of them said "very shy, insecure, lacks confidence"; you get the picture. Junior High was painful and by High School I was wearing a mask too. Mine was the alway s happy, will fit in with any crowd and do about anything to be liked. But at home, I was almost debilitated by pain from a spastic colon (un-diagnosed at that point). More then one trip to ER because of the pain. I was trying to hold in all that was "me". So we have a lot in common my new friend! I feel that pain on a visceral level! Thank you for being so open and sharing it so beautifully!! Hugs and blessings!
The Word Weaver, Deb - March 20th, 2012 at 11:41 AM
Mary Anne, thank you so much for your encouragement! I'm grateful that God has led us to be ourselves! I always appreciate finding new connections between friends.
Leave a Comment